Monday, January 6, 2014

Oops I did it Again ~ Self Tan oopsi


Magazines and television do create that perfect illusion of beauty and perfection when it comes to women!

I am one of those women - total sucker for punishment.

Going onto 30 - my bucket list for my day consist of water, coffee, and BIOPLUS... Oh yes - perky lip-gloss and hair wax will round up my list somewhere ;) Between work - kids - household and hubby - a normal 24 hour day seems way too short and somewhere along - a 6hour night sleep turns into 2 hours...

All is well after month’s turns into years and then strange things start to happen... Creepy stuff... Like finding your car keys in the fridge... Sitting at a women’s event - and after a half an hour of festivities suddenly remembering that my sister in law was supposed to be there with me - AND I FORGOT!! Never say die. I made a stop at our local GP and our GP changed my daily bucket list just n tat' by saying no coffee, big no-no for my life saver - BIOPLUS and some mild sleeping pills just to get me back into routine - EEZY PEEZY.... Great!

Its 2 weeks before Christmas - with specials everywhere , I thought it best to buy a few things from Avon - a few creams - perfumes and u get the self-tan lotion for Free!!

Very excited - I opened the package - arranged it neatly next to each other! Hubby was working late and round about 22:00pm it hit me that I had to start my pills the GP gave me! Reading the first line on the bottle - drink 1 at night - I started with my first sleeping pill. I sat and watched TV for a while. Strangely at 1 o clock... Still not tired... Decided to take a bath... Getting up a bit fast I felt a bit whoosi... Pulled my pj's near... Looking up... Remembering my luxury creams - grabbed the golden body cream and went off to the bathroom. Shaved and pampered I felt on cloud 9 - grabbed my body cream - starting at my toes generously rubbing it in, even my cuticles! Smelling divine, I felt tired and went straight to bed.

My screaming bladder woke me up at about 5am and made my way to the bathroom with great effort - feeling crappy - sat on the toilet - dreamily opening my left eye. - looking down at my feet... MUD on my feet!! O holy hell - I jolted up! With one sway I pulled up my pj’s - pulling up my foot with one hand - It’s full of mud - but it doesn't smell like mud!! Feeling slightly flabbergasted I wondered if I was sleepwalking... No can't be the sleeping pill. Viewing myself puzzled in the bathroom mirror. I felt an anxiety attack coming along. My hands are the same as well!!


I have a 'Rudolf - brown piggish' nose paint of some sort on my face. Grabbing the soap a freakishly rubbed on my hands and face - with no luck getting any of that color off at all!!

Oh Fuck!! ..there in the window is the gold SELF TAN cream I used for body cream!!

Ggpfhhh - I couldn't breathe!! Even my arse has orange -crappy -brown - 5 fingers with palm marks - on each side of my ASS!!! Oh My God.. I tried bathing 5 times...tried to phone a friend... Only to hear the phone drop to the ground on other side... With them laughing their butts off!!

11 days later... My husband could for the first time come into the bathroom... And look me sincerely in the eye - without having tears in his eyes... it wasn't tears of joy... I can assure you!! I was a ashamedly freaking hilarious sight.

What did I learn? Never do drugs and body products together, major no-no.

Mrs. Oops out


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